Ping-Pong with the Padres

  • 8-4 Dodgers

The Padres are that pathetic plasic ping-pong ball. Last night’s game was played by Clayton Kershaw and the Dodgers hitters. So there the Padres are, sitting on a huge ping-pong table. In walks Kershaw and his offense, giggleing maliciously. They’re streching, cracking their knuckles, licking their chops at that pathetic thing on the table. Kershaw, barely 20 years old, picks up his paddle and stands on one side of the table. The pathetic ping-pong ball looks at him. It can’t see how pathetic it is, and it thinks it should be able to beat the kid. Then it turns to the other side of the table, where Kershaw’s hitters have lined up. The pathetic ping-pong ball isn’t so sure about that side. But it turns to face Kershaw as the game begins. WHAMMY! WHAMMY! WHAMMY! The pathetic ping-pong ball goes down quickly. Now it turns to face Manny Ramirez on the other side. BAM! Just like that, the Dodgers are dominating. Every time the pathetic ping-pong ball turns to Kershaw, he completely blows it away. As the game goes on, the pathetic ping-pong ball starts to gets frustrated. “Why am I not beating this guy? He’s just a kid!!” it cries. But soon the pathetic ping-pong ball is seeing how pathetic it really is. It makes it mad that it can’t beat him. And then when it turns to the offense side, guy after guy comes up and beats it. Andre Eithier, BAM! Blake DeWitt, BAM! It just went on and on. But the pathetic ping-pong ball turns to face Kershaw one last time. It’s beaten up, but it’s not giving up. Kershaw is tiring. So he allows the Padres to get on the scoreboard, which is horribly lopsided. The ping-pong ball’s rebellion doesn’t last long, though. It’s too beaten up. So it gives in, just like 85 other times this season. The Padres might have thought they could beat this team, but they can’t. Thery’re just a pathetic ping-pong ball getting kicked around by their rival. This past week has proved interesting. We were able to sweep Arizona, but LA has been killing us. It seems like LA is the more likely team to win the West. With the win last night, the Dodgers are now 1.5 games out. This last week also shows that the Padres cannot consistently win. In this tough season, I have sometimes wondered if the Padres would be able to do 21 out of 22 and get right back in it. But there’s no way, as this last week has shown. We go 5-1, leave home with a 2-game win streak, and then lose a series. We can’t win consistently. We can’t hit consistently!! Tonight is Wade LeBlanc, making his major league debut. The bullpen is really beat up. Hiroki Kuroda is going for the sweep. GO PADRES! BEAT LA!

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